Disney Weirdness

If I were Don Rosa, here’s how I’d tackle the Life and Times of Donald Duck:

Donald Duck, orphaned at an early age, spent his boyhood on Grandma Duck’s farm just up the road from Mouseton. Donald looked up to the older kids in town and followed them on their schemes and adventures. His fear of abandonment, mistrust of authority, and severe anger issues made young Donald something of a nuisance to Mickey, Dippy and the gang, but they allowed him to tag along because they felt sorry for the little guy. Poor kid couldn’t even express himself intelligibly, so why make things worse for him? Young Donald also spent a lot of time playing in an abandoned houseboat docked in Mouseton, dreaming of one day joining the Navy, his blue sailor suit a testament to his dreams of travel and adventure.

As a young man, Donald set his sights on the big city. He scraped up enough cash to rent an apartment in Duckburg and struck out to join the workforce. Like many young people with a limited education, Donald had a hard time getting started in a career. He tried his hand at a number of jobs, including fireman, museum guard, and street sweeper, but found himself ill-suited for almost everything he tried. Speak slower, Mister Duck. You’re just too angry, Mister Duck. Frustrated by his lack of financial success, Donald ignored the frequently-dropped hints of wedding bells from his long-suffering girlfriend, Daisy. Just when he was gathering up the courage to quit the rat race altogether and enlist, the unexpected occurred: his deadbeat sister entrusted Donald to become guardian to her triplets, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Suddenly Donald found himself saddled with the responsibilities of a much older Duck. Putting his dreams on hold, Donald moved to the suburbs and devoted himself to providing for his newfound family.

The Angry Young Man

One Christmas, Donald and the boys reconnected with their long-lost rich old Uncle Scrooge McDuck. The old miser took pity on the boys, and sensing his aversion to charity, appointed Donald an all-purpose employee of McDuck Industries. Donald and the boys soon found themselves accompanying Scrooge on treasure hunts and archaeological digs, spanning the globe in search of fortune. Donald’s suppressed thirst for adventure and excitement was awakened anew as he threw himself into his new role of bodyguard/sidekick/pilot/driver/comic relief for the old man. While he had personally never been happier, as a parent Don felt somewhat conflicted. His boys were getting a world-class education and experiencing the best that life had to offer, but at the end of the day they had to return to their drab old suburban existence. Surely the boys would be better off living with the old man; they would provide companionship to Scrooge during his twilight years, while in turn the boys would experience luxury and comfort far beyond anything he could give them. It was settled. Donald would leave the boys in the care of Uncle Scrooge, while he fulfilled his childhood dream and shipped out with the Navy.

Adulthood

The boys and Uncle Scrooge continued having adventures while Donald went on to a long and distinguished Naval career. Donald even joined his childhood pal Mickey Mouse in filming wartime propaganda for bigshot Hollywood director Walt Disney. Donald retired with his military pension and moved back to Duckburg, where he lived the remainder of his days surrounded by friends and family. And also he was a superhero.

Superhero

2011-12-07T04:38:00.001-05:00

Christmas in Disneyland

Also: Chris Sims versus The Golden Christmas Tree

The Death and Resurrection of The Little Mermaid

2011-12-05T17:11:00.001-05:00

No, not that Little Mermaid.

Taste the Magic

2011-12-04T05:19:00.001-05:00

Ads for Disney Frozen Treats, circa 1987

Mint Cars

2011-12-01T04:46:00.001-05:00

As seen in the Previews catalog, Cars Be@rbricks.

Oil Story

2011-11-29T05:11:00.001-05:00

Oil Company renames itself Pixar?

Taste the Rainbow

2011-11-25T05:46:00.001-05:00

Scan from Carl Barks' "Lost in the Andes", original printing:

Scan from "Lost in the Andes" reprint:

Scan from Fantagraphics' new Barks collection:

Disney on Parade

2011-11-25T05:26:00.001-05:00

D23's History of the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

Worst Bootleg Ever

2011-11-20T07:40:00.001-05:00

Disney Princess Doll Gone Wild

Tycoon Lagoon

2011-11-17T17:08:00.001-05:00

Classic Carl Barks painting sells for $262,900.

Pret-a-pixar

2011-11-14T17:01:00.001-05:00

Toy Story- inspired Fashion Line

Wonder Falls

2011-11-14T05:07:00.001-05:00

A walking tour of Wonderland, China's eerie abandoned Disneyland rip-off

Piggies

2011-11-11T11:00:00.001-05:00

The always-interesting Davelandblog traces the evolution of the Three Little Pigs.

Sterling's right

2011-11-04T05:17:00.000-04:00

It truly is The End of Civilization.

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

You taught me everything about a poison apple.

2011-11-03T18:59:00.000-04:00

Fan art from Comic Book Resources' The Line It Is Drawn

by Nick Perks

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2011-11-02T04:38:00.004-04:00

Put down the candy, it's Christmas time b**ches! Let's kick things off right with this look at the origins of my favorite holiday special, Mickey's Christmas Carol.

One of the inspirations for Mickey's Christmas Carol

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T06:03:00.000-04:00

Trick or Treat!

In Russia, Disney Watches You

2011-10-28T05:07:00.000-04:00

The Disney Channel: Russia

Corporate Synergy

2011-10-25T05:20:00.000-04:00

Hey, did you guys know that in addition to being a blatant knock-off of Fables, ABC's Once Upon a Time is totally based on the Disney versions of fairy tale characters? It's true! Check out Jiminy Cricket:

In the pilot episode one of the dwarves was even named Doc! So if you were as put off by the first episode as I was, just tell yourself you're watching a really long episode of House of Mouse and it'll be OK.

Fathers, be good to your daughters

2011-10-24T07:25:00.000-04:00

Only six more days til Halloween! Time to put the finishing touches on your "sexy" princess costume!

Girl Power!

Come Out and Socialize

2011-10-23T07:24:00.000-04:00

Your next Halloween party won't be complete without these do-it-yourself singing busts.

The Black Parade

2011-10-21T17:32:00.005-04:00

Tim Burton to design creepy Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon.

Only 10 More Days Til Halloween

2011-10-21T05:38:00.000-04:00

Bring on the "sexy" Minnie Mouse costumes!

Up next: Uncomfortable Winnie-The-Pooh Costumes

Howard the Duck never read the Duckburg Chronicle

2011-10-16T07:23:00.000-04:00

Read the whole thing at Jon's Random Acts of Geekery

Halloween Town

2011-10-14T05:04:00.000-04:00

Man, Disney History is killing it with the nightmarish Disney costumes lately. For example:

Learn about the context behind these photos here.

2011-10-13T17:35:00.000-04:00

Tarzan's Junk.

Via

Inane Clown Posse

2011-10-09T07:59:00.000-04:00

Circuses: How Do They Work?

We All Float Down Here

Disney On Parole brings us horrifying clowns from the Dumbo Circus Parade, 1997.

A is A

2011-10-06T05:04:00.000-04:00

Meet Andy Anaheim!

Via Disney History

A Fool and his Money

2011-10-05T12:30:00.000-04:00

Disney realizes you'll probably go see a bunch of its other old movies in 3-D

We Can Have Some More

2011-10-05T05:04:00.000-04:00

Woman Sells Baby to Pay for Disney Trip

See You In Hell

2011-09-30T15:33:00.002-04:00

Dr. Frankenstein's website is here.

2011-09-30T05:07:00.003-04:00

Like I Give-A-Show.

Secret Origins

2011-09-28T18:27:00.001-04:00

Was the Hatbox Ghost inspired by Lon Chaney? Long Forgotten makes a strong case:

2011-09-27T16:38:00.001-04:00

Mickey Mouse is an undocumented immigrant.

The Colour and the Shape

2011-09-27T05:03:00.002-04:00

Head on over to Susan D-L's Color and Caffeine blog to read her re-colored version of "Ghost of the Grotto".

Travelocity

2011-09-24T11:36:00.002-04:00

Disney travel and attraction posters, from Super Punch:

Nightmare Fuel

2011-09-22T05:05:00.000-04:00

Disney History ensures I won't be able to sleep tonight with these vintage photographs:

My Adidas

2011-09-20T20:08:00.001-04:00

Mickey and Pluto limited edition sneakers

Hatbox Art

2011-09-19T09:21:00.001-04:00

Hatbox Ghost maquette

Best Headline Ever

2011-09-16T08:05:00.000-04:00

Mickey Mouse With Swastika, Nude Woman Ignites Polish Anger

The art in question:

Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Skull Candy

2011-09-15T08:02:00.000-04:00

Mickey Skull t-shirt

Street Rat

2011-09-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

Mickey Mouse street art

2011-09-13T19:51:00.002-04:00

Disney comics legend Del Connell passed away at age 93

Bonjour, Girl!

2011-09-12T15:36:00.003-04:00

Via The AV Club

South of the Border

2011-09-12T10:31:00.000-04:00

An appealing assortment of comics, 1950s Mexico

From Comics Bomb

Bombed

2011-09-10T10:28:00.003-04:00

From Comics Bomb

Hippie Dippie Duck

2011-09-08T08:22:00.000-04:00

Fethry Duck's Summer of Love

by George Caltsoudas

My Castle My Rules

2011-09-06T05:57:00.000-04:00

Snow White t-shirt by Junk Food.

These aren't the toys you're looking for

2011-09-02T05:25:00.000-04:00

These Disney/ Star Wars toys are cool, even though the prequel movies were a steaming pile of bantha poodoo.

Space Age Lodge

2011-09-01T05:21:00.000-04:00

From Super Punch

Foxy Lady

2011-08-31T06:56:00.000-04:00

Foxy: An Appreciation

Yoo Hoo!

Link

Don's Girls

2011-08-30T09:04:00.000-04:00

More Donald Magazine strangeness can be found at Paper Mode.

via Broke Hoedown

Power Class Binge Drinkers

2011-08-29T08:58:00.000-04:00

From Broke Hoedown's examination of Donald Duck Lifestyle Magazine.

This is what Disney's version of hell looked like

2011-08-29T06:37:00.000-04:00

http://io9.com/5835176/this-is-what-walt-disneys-version-of-hell-looked-like

Suburban Legends

2011-08-26T18:32:00.001-04:00

In today's Comic Book Legends Revealed: Disney had another artist change the ending of a Carl Barks story because the story ended with Donald as an arsonist.

Breaking News

2011-08-26T07:58:00.000-04:00

Nerds dress in costume at nerd convention

You talking like a beeg shot

2011-08-25T07:50:00.000-04:00

Tag Toonz has some cool Jose Carioca comic strips from the 1940's:

Link

Via the Disney Comics Forum

Buy Me This

2011-08-24T01:19:00.000-04:00

Phantom Blot statue from Dark Horse

Un-convention-al art

2011-08-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

Art prints and convention sketches by Don Rosa:

Link

Secret Origins

2011-08-22T12:53:00.000-04:00

Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story! *

The Phantom Blot Revealed!!

*It's a hoax.

From Mickey Mouse Comics Digest, Gladstone Comics, 1987.

Art by Paul Murry

Where's Wall-E?

2011-08-22T10:49:00.000-04:00

Via The Disney Blog

That's Incredible!

2011-08-21T09:03:00.000-04:00

The Incredibles/ New Teen Titans mashup by Bill Morrison, from this weekend's D23 event

Future Franchises of America

2011-08-20T08:01:00.000-04:00

The AV Club's tongue-in-cheek "Strip Mining Nostalgia" looks to the pop culture past to predict the tentpole movie franchises of tomorrow, including the Gummi Bears and the motherf**king dumbass Wuzzles. Have I mentioned that I hate the freaking Wuzzles? So much.

Tales Spin

2011-08-19T08:32:00.001-04:00

Ink and Paint Club takes us behind the scenes of the Duck Tales TV show.

via the Disney Comics Forum

Pinitchio

2011-08-18T19:36:00.001-04:00

Human Touch

2011-08-18T08:26:00.000-04:00

The Disney Afternoon characters as humans.

Lo Brau

2011-08-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

More art from the great Shawn Dickinson:

New Ghastly Merch!

2011-08-16T07:46:00.001-04:00

New stuff from the Haunted Mansion's favorite surf/garage/punk band The Ghastly Ones!

Check it out here

So, read any good comics lately?

2011-08-14T13:06:00.008-04:00

So apparently while I was busy this summer, Boom put out a shitty Duck Tales comic.

I don't really have anything to contribute to this kerfuffle except to say that Boom put out some good Disney comics (Muppet Show, Darkwing Duck), some OK Disney comics (Ultraheroes, Wizards of Mickey), and some really awful Disney comics. When it comes to comic books I tend to value novelty above all else, so Boom gets props for trying to shake things up with the license. The Boom/ Disney experiment may be a failure, but at least it was never boring. Whatever the future has in store for Disney comics, I hope Marvel has the good sense to try and reach out to kids and new readers, since the fan base for this material isn't getting any younger and will probably find plenty of things to complain about regardless. And hey, it can't get any worse than this, right?

Kaboom, bitches!

From Here to Eternity

2011-08-13T12:33:00.002-04:00

Jim Korkis talks about one of my favorite comic book might-have-beens, The Uncensored Mouse.

Via The Comics Reporter

Points off for using Comic Sans

2011-08-12T20:07:00.007-04:00

I was looking for Mickey cartoons on YouTube when I found this:

I don't know if it's some kind of student project or something, but it's cute regardless.

2011-08-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

Man charged with insider training in Disney- Marvel deal.

A Brief Announcement

2011-08-08T08:18:00.002-04:00

Hey gang. I'll be taking a break from Blogger for a little while due to family commitments. I should be back soon. In the meantime I will check in with Tumblr when I can, and hopefully resume regular posting before too long. Thanks for reading!